This blog has been a long time coming. There is no day more perfect than this one to tweak a literal nipple. I have spent the past 2 months training it from long island to penn station, the subway across town and then another uptown. Yea, a good hour and a half each way... every single damn day. I have witnessed and well, been groups of drunk people starting fights, old people getting arrested for threatening to bomb the station, a pan handler with an eggplant wrapped up and tucked away into a stroller, pukers with their entire upper body in a garbage can and mariachi bands turning the 7 train into a fiesta. I watched a 12 year marriage end on the E train at 42nd street when the wife told him he would be better off with the slut he was fucking behind her back. I witnessed a drag queen lose her pride when her 5 inch stiletto missed a step at the Christopher Street 1 station and she rolled an entire flight. My murse has been smushed by ignorant morons of all cultures. I was on the receiving end of an uncomfortable, "Oh my god, I thought you were my friend" ass grabbing on the path train after and already shameful morning in Hoboken. But, today.... yes today my friends was a whole different kind of fuhckakta.
A bit more irritable and tired due to a horrible cold, I caught the E train at Penn just as soon and I got to the platform. For some reason the trains felt a little faster then normal and I was at Lexington & 53rd in no time. I rushed up the escalator, across the station and into the 6 train platform where the train doors were already closing. I wedged my right ass cheek into the doors and open sesame! I caught a flash of someone trying to squeeze in behind me from the corner of my eye, and threw my hand back to hold the door. In the same moment, I misjudged how far the door was and I punched the woman square in the jaw. My wrist held the 6 train door open and the woman got on the train. She held her jawline delicately with a smile and said, "Thank you so much" with the most enamored look. I apologized for hitting her face and she continued to stare with cheap intent. A million thoughts raced through my head with that one awkward smile. 'Could I have just sparked a flame in Mackenzie Phillips day of the week panties?!?' or 'Is she going to follow me off the train at 77th street and taze me' or 'Oh sweet Jesus, did she just look at my crotch?!' I am only one stop away at this point and the woman still hasn't unlocked her creepstastic corneas from my squirming body. Just as I started to feel like a juicy steak, the 6 pulled into the 77th street station. I breathed a huge sigh of relief and shared a moment of unspoken clarity the older man standing next to me. I looked back after shooting up the steps and through the turnstile.... the woman was still holding her jaw with a smile only now, standing by the door gazing out at her lost love. I envision her journal looking a little something like this:
Dear Diary,
I went to a meeting today. It was a therapeutic session. That weirdo Carl fell off the wagon after an encounter in the restroom at a chuck e cheese. I talked through everything I mentioned yesterday and my day was masochism free until I got on the train to come home. A man, head to toe in fur and fierceness punched me in the jaw and lusted after me. He made me feel alive again. My Monday panties felt like they flew right off but I played it cool even though his rough back hand brought me right back to the good old days, stuffed in the closet when I misbehaved during "Daddy time." He got off at the 77th street station. I think I'll go there tomorrow around the same time with my electric nipple clamps and shaved down toothbrush, give him the sexy eye and invite him to the dungeon. I've already posted a 'missed connections' ad on craigslist. Well diary, its time for my nightly inner thigh cutting and anal stretch. Until next time....
A bit more irritable and tired due to a horrible cold, I caught the E train at Penn just as soon and I got to the platform. For some reason the trains felt a little faster then normal and I was at Lexington & 53rd in no time. I rushed up the escalator, across the station and into the 6 train platform where the train doors were already closing. I wedged my right ass cheek into the doors and open sesame! I caught a flash of someone trying to squeeze in behind me from the corner of my eye, and threw my hand back to hold the door. In the same moment, I misjudged how far the door was and I punched the woman square in the jaw. My wrist held the 6 train door open and the woman got on the train. She held her jawline delicately with a smile and said, "Thank you so much" with the most enamored look. I apologized for hitting her face and she continued to stare with cheap intent. A million thoughts raced through my head with that one awkward smile. 'Could I have just sparked a flame in Mackenzie Phillips day of the week panties?!?' or 'Is she going to follow me off the train at 77th street and taze me' or 'Oh sweet Jesus, did she just look at my crotch?!' I am only one stop away at this point and the woman still hasn't unlocked her creepstastic corneas from my squirming body. Just as I started to feel like a juicy steak, the 6 pulled into the 77th street station. I breathed a huge sigh of relief and shared a moment of unspoken clarity the older man standing next to me. I looked back after shooting up the steps and through the turnstile.... the woman was still holding her jaw with a smile only now, standing by the door gazing out at her lost love. I envision her journal looking a little something like this:
Dear Diary,
I went to a meeting today. It was a therapeutic session. That weirdo Carl fell off the wagon after an encounter in the restroom at a chuck e cheese. I talked through everything I mentioned yesterday and my day was masochism free until I got on the train to come home. A man, head to toe in fur and fierceness punched me in the jaw and lusted after me. He made me feel alive again. My Monday panties felt like they flew right off but I played it cool even though his rough back hand brought me right back to the good old days, stuffed in the closet when I misbehaved during "Daddy time." He got off at the 77th street station. I think I'll go there tomorrow around the same time with my electric nipple clamps and shaved down toothbrush, give him the sexy eye and invite him to the dungeon. I've already posted a 'missed connections' ad on craigslist. Well diary, its time for my nightly inner thigh cutting and anal stretch. Until next time....
Amazing!
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