It's a good gay day.

Cher presents an award at the 2010 VMA's to Lady Gaga while paying homage to 'Turn back time' and holding Gaga's meat bag. I am pretty sure West Hollywood needs a street sweeper because every queen out there just combusted from sensory overload. I for one am slightly aroused. But seriously, Cher must have the most incredible plastic surgeon nipping and tucking on the regular or the biggest tub of butter to force her 62 year old ass into a one piece. Thank you MTV for killing us with extravaganza and creating a memory for lady boys to cherish forever. Its a good gay day.

Jack is trying to kill me

I woke up in a cold sweat this morning after a nightmare. Jack in the box was after me with 2 regular tacos that were shaved down and a sampler trio consisting of a hammer, hacksaw and cyanide. Being that I was intoxicated with drunken munchies, my good decision making capabilities were flawed. I ran my ass off and just when I thought I was in the clear, Jack showed up and lured me in with his manufactured scent. He proceeded to abuse me orally with an egg roll. He forced me to say things like, "I want your ranch dressing in or around my mouth." Jack proceeded to manipulate my mind with promises of cheesey goodness when a sharp pain attacked my stomach. I knew that taco was coming for me. Damn you Jack, with your misleading offerings of love in shape of mini serloin burgers. Consider yourselves warned.

The Lonely Island - I'm On A Boat ft. T-Pain

Yea, I know this is so last week but I pee myself a little every time.

Kentucky Fried Stache

Gainesville, Florida has been in the public eye recently with threats made by a local 'church' of creating Quran bonfire. "Dove World Outreach Center" claims to be a nondenominational church, instilling the word of God. My thoughts?

Rev. Terry Jones hasn't seen a live naked woman since his face has converted to an old leathery snatch. His sexual frustration has turned him into an angry old bag with nothing but manipulate the minds of lost souls, alcoholics and poverty stricken white trash. Do we all remember Marshall Applewhite, founder of Heaven's Gate "religious group?" This cult convinced 39 people to kill themselves as Hale Bopp comet was coming by to take them to heaven. Terry Jones isn't far off. I for one am convinced, the rundown converted garage with a tattered cross plastered up is a front for some dungeon where he nestles his Kentucky Fried Stache into the faces of his congregation until they agree to be handcuffed to a cross and spanked with his meth covered member. Eventually, they are drinking the juice. Either way, I suggest an intervention in Gainesville consisting of an ultimatum. Asylum or barrel. Their choice.

© Joseph Tighe 2010

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-koran-burning-20100908,0,230085.story?page=1

One way ticket.

My life was suddenly shocked into stagnant space. A change was both required and desired. Opportunity led me to the sunshine, seemingly a different world. Just what I needed. Only now, I've lost that person I got to know just a few short years ago. The sunshine has blinded the original goal, the goal I once was unwilling to compromise at any expense. I blame sunshine, blue skies and rhinoplasty. A new venture is on it's way. Perhaps removing comfort is key to positivity in my life and if so, carpe diem. Maybe my inner clock just knows it's time to pay closer attention to certain aspects of life before my under stimulated brainwaves have time to process the subconscious. Creating a place wherever I may end up to grow into the person I want to become isn't happening without the culture or unique freedoms unavailable to me. Soon brainwaves, soon.

Mini Ru singing Katy Perry Teenage dream

I cant tell if this little nugget is 14 or 41 but, he is sure to be the next big thing in West Hollywood. Her lip-sync could rival Ru Paul! I wonder if they make a kids size 5 inch stiletto?

Magnitude 7.0 - SOUTH ISLAND OF NEW ZEALAND

Magnitude 7.0 - SOUTH ISLAND OF NEW ZEALAND

I seriously need to stop checking this website. I create my own nightmares and palpitations but, will someone please acknowledge that the amount of earthquakes the world has been experiencing is abnormal?! And if not the amount, than the high magnitudes. It's bullshit really. There is a crazy person circulating the blog world who calls himself weatherbill. He claimed to have received a message from god through a deck of cards that said 'The big one' would happen on September 2nd 2010 in Southern California, in turn creating a Tsunami. The man is out of his fucking mind but sadly enough, I can relate to him. He must have been living here in fear of the ground chewing him up and spitting his ass out, much like my nightmares only he more than likely took a pill with a happy face on it. Weatherbill posted a retraction and apology for his 'false information from god.' Inadvertently, he has gotten a real message to the people who can see past his insanity. Pay attention. If and when 'The big one' happens and I am still living in San Diego, I will thank that cracked out Jesus freak for making me think about what I would do and where I would go. I'm sure as hell not going to be one of these So Cal assholes that laughs and cheers when the ground is trying to kill them. It's no wonder marijuana is legal in California, how else would people sleep?

Affordable Gay Travel - South Beach

Get ready Lady boys, South Beach is hotter than ever. From the 12th street beach to a night out at Twist nightclub, Miami has tons to offer to the family. Travelocity has been notorious in offering packages including first class air and hotel rooms worthy of a gasp and the imaginary pearl necklace grab. Get acquainted with properties like Hotel Victor, located in the heart of South Beach on the famous Ocean Drive. They offer boutique accommodations and an experience to remember with the 'Girls Only' package. You receive manicures for two by the pool, a complimentary mojito and the smut magazines of your choice. After a day of luxuriating, stop by the only gay bar on Ocean! Palace Bar has daily Happy Hour offering $10 pitchers of Absolut from 3-6pm. Once the drag show has commenced on the sidewalk, the Ocean view will seem less impressive. If you're looking for something slightly more romantic or high scale, a popular NYC lounge named Vlada has just opened their second location in SoBe. Lincoln Road offers up fantastic people watching, shopping and light eats at Balan's. Sit down to a relaxed but top shelf atmosphere with a menu showcasing local fair. Price points are under $30 for their most expensive meal and requires reservations for breakfast. Hey, the gays need their coffee after a long Miami night. Rates via travelocity start at $299 including round trip airfare, hotel and car rental.

www.travelocity.com/gaytravel

As I stand patiently waiting for my Turkey BLT at The Market Place on Maple & 5th, a tall blonde business lady orders her Greek salad and sparks up conversation with the greasy Mexican who should have been wearing gloves while handling my food. But, I am sure the vodka in my system from last night will kill all those germs. Miss Business spoke ignorantly of her 17th floor office and brand new Michael Kors watch her boyfriend gave to her last weekend. I turn to my left and see a black woman, sporting long gorgeous locks and a look of disdain while her daughter clenched to her leg. The little girl, no more than 7 years old, has major catalogue potential. Thankfully every one's orders show up just about the same time. The black woman and I both sighed with relief that this ordeal is almost over. Now I am on line with Miss Business behind me and the lady and daughter in front when I hear the dreaded question come from over my shoulder, "Is that her real hair?" All I could think was, I am shamed to be a white person right now. Before the woman could say a word, the little girl looks behind and up at Miss Business and says, "Why do white people ask stupid questions?!" ..................... Long silent pause followed by my uncontrollable laughter and a very embarrassed mother. Miss Business turned an uncomfortable shade of red and stayed consistent apologizing to the point of annoyance. I love that kids just say whatever pops into their heads. I just dont understand why when you become an adult, it's considered inapropriate to speak freely. That little girl said what her mother and I were thinking. She has re affirmed that my word vomit is perfectly acceptable. I love her.