Justin Degeneres

Last night while cruising in a pimped out Cadillac that Rachel and I have dubbed the land yacht, a song came on the radio that she started to jam out to. I was in fear of her life as she sang along to this hateful song with a very clear message under the melody that tries to brainwash the listener. It was scarier than Notting Hill. There seemed to be a pubescent girl belting out tunes and saying things like, 'I'm going down.' Rachel informed me it was this Justin Bieber person. I had heard of this Bieber sensation before but dismissed it thinking he would be one of those washed up Disney channel performers like Raven Simone. Turns out the Bieber has quite the following. After even more thought, I realized there is a club mix of the horrendous song that I definitely danced my ass off to while shit canned in West Hollywood a few weeks ago. I'd like to know who the stage mom is that has been pimping out her 14 year old lesbian son? Seriously, the Bieber looks like the product of Ellen and Portia... I am concerned for his future. Why is it okay for a 14 year old to be throwin up deuces and singing provocative lyrics?! Back in the crunchy and salty days of Britney and Christina, controversy surrounded excessive skin when they were 18. This turd barely has a pubic hair, suggesting fellatio and calling girls "baby" in his song. If you have a daughter, keep her far away from the Bieber. By the time Ellen Jr. reaches age 17 he will have been in Rehab at least once, a nasty intent for transsexuals and chlamydia on his mouth. Justin Bieber needs a life coach.

© Joseph Tighe 2010